Absence makes the cock grow harder.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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