There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
