So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
