i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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