My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
