It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
