There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
