You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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