sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
