I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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