How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize