She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
