Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize