Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
