So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
