All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
