i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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