he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
