the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize