you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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