So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize