im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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