Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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