ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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