you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
