One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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