Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
