i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
