I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
