I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
