tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
