I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
