dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize