Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
