You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize