great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
