the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
