I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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