I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize