it wasn't lemon gatorade
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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