I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize