I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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