Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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