I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
