Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
