doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize