i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
