He uses pillows to masturbate.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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