Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
