drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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