A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
