So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
