He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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