No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's shark week go big or go home
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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