I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
