you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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