Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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