I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
