But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
