Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
