thus making me awesome and them whores
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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