In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
its not stalking. its research.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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