Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize