well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
