Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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