Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
