Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
